It seems that Internet cafes have been deemed as “unfit and potentially corrupting environments” for China’s youth. Yes, it seems they are right down there with the illicit massage parlors, gambling mahjong houses and unfiltered search engine results. It seems China’s Government is going insane over elevating computer games to the level of tobacco and alcohol. In short, these “dens of villainy and corruption” are no longer open to teenagers. Yes, we have finally reached the day, when the bouncer IDs you at the door so you can go in and play Bubble Bobble.

This is of course hot on the heels of the major net companies coming under fire for seceding to government demands and blocking certain content within the mainland. China is a stickler for controlling what their citizens see and do:

…the establishments will be prohibited from displaying “audio and video products and electronic games” that threaten national security or disparage other nationalities or races. Specifically, the entertainment may not “damage China’s unification, sovereignty, or territorial integrity,” referring to the dispute over the status of nominally independent Taiwan.

Does this sound like big brother to you? I am sorry how my control over fictitious characters slaying monsters and demons using magical powers threatens the very basis on which the motherland of China was founded.

The next targets of threat to the state we can expect to be McDonalds restaurants, old age homes, and churches. Yes, Big Macs are a threat to national obesity! You must be an adult to realize the consequences of ingesting such food!